


Observations

by kronette



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2013-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-23 04:10:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kronette/pseuds/kronette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doctor Julian Bashir stared at the chronometer, his mind's eye replaying the day's events.  The holosuite program.  Garak's uninvited interruption.  The transporter malfunction.  Saving the senior officers.  Destroying the world.  Garak's glare at him when he realized it was a spy program.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Observations

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 1996. Set after "Our Man Bashir" and "Hippocratic Oath."

Nighttime on Deep Space Nine. Technically, it was always night on the station, but now was the time when most of it's inhabitants were fast asleep. But tonight, one man lie awake, tossing fitfully in his lumpy Cardassian bed.

Doctor Julian Bashir stared at the chronometer, his mind's eye replaying the day's events. The holosuite program. Garak's uninvited interruption. The transporter malfunction. Saving the senior officers. Destroying the world. Garak's glare at him when he realized it was a spy program.

Julian sighed in the darkness. He hadn't realized how his program would affect Garak. After all, to him it was just a game, a relaxing way to spend his off-duty time. But Garak took it personally. And why shouldn't he? It  _had_ been his life at one point. The life of a spy.

Maybe some secret part of him wanted to see what it was like. To live that clandestine lifestyle; relying on his wits to keep him alive. It was exciting, and dangerous, and a great adventure. Julian loved adventure. At least, that's what he kept telling himself. But after seeing Garak's face, and hearing his side of what it was _really_ like to be a spy, to constantly watch your back, to never trust anyone, he doubted he could do it. Not for a living.

Sighing softly, Julian relaxed, finally allowing his eyes to close, for the moment forgetting his lunch date the next day.

****

"Garak, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you would be so upset..."

Julian shook his head at his reflection and tried again. "Garak, let me explain. It's just a fantasy -a game really - one nearly four hundred years old. I don't take it seriously."

The young doctor sighed, giving his image a pitiful stare. "Great. I'm trying to think of an apology, and all I'm doing is adding insult to injury." The mention of injury brought the unbidden image of Garak, looking at the blood on his hand in surprise, then up at himself with equal surprise.

One long shudder ran through Julian at his remembrance. He was still amazed that he had actually shot his friend. That Garak had provoked him enough, prodded him enough, so that he was able to. Was that it? Had the tailor angered him so that he  _could_ shoot him?

The speculations were driving him crazy. With a heavy sigh, Julian pulled on his white tuxedo jacket and smoothed it down. Without a backward glance, he strode to the holosuite to keep his appointment with the tailor.

****

Garak stood before his mirror, shaking his head slightly at his reflection. Oh, how foolish he had been! Agreeing to go  _back_ to that dreadful holosuite program. He had barely tolerated the first trip through, thank you very much.

And the good doctor had been of little help, telling him to be quiet and not ask questions. Didn't he realize that questions were his life? His line of work?

"Not anymore," the Cardassian chided himself soundly. "You gave up that life, to live here." Looking around at his modest tailoring shop, Garak began to wish he had taken the death sentence, and not listened to Tain.

"Enough of that," Garak told his reflection. He had an appointment to keep. Granted it  _was_ lunch with the doctor, but it was in the holosuite. In Paris. Garak sighed.

"How did I get myself into this?" he pleaded his reflection.

_By interrupting Bashir's program. By invading his privacy. By_ \- "Shut up," he told the voices in his head. He had listened to them too many times the previous day; they had gotten him in trouble, not to mention, shot.

Garak's lips curled as he remembered how Julian had unflinchingly pulled the trigger, and the small pistol had gone off. He hadn't shown an ounce of surprise or regret, which heartened the tailor. He showed promise. He did indeed.

Straightening his jacket, Garak adjusted the collar one more time before exiting his shop and going to meet the Human for lunch.

****

The holosuite doors opened, inviting the doctor inside his suite in Paris. He immediately called for the computer to delete all other characters in the program, lest Falcon or Mona walked in and interrupted their lunch.

Bashir smiled slightly. Garak had hardly raised an eyeridge at his assistant. Well, maybe he had, but Julian had been enjoying himself too much to notice. He went to the wet bar and made himself a martini, shaken not stirred, and continued his train of thought.

He hadn't noticed a lot, apparently. Especially not how angry Garak had truly been.

A light sigh escaped his parted lips. Remembering how Garak had refused to listen to reason, had insisted on calling an end to the program - it set his blood boiling. But he could hardly blame him. He hadn't understood. He hadn't realized that Julian understood this game, and how it was played. That he knew what he was doing.

_Yet another person who doesn't trust your judgement,_ whispered through his mind, and Julian inhaled sharply. Images came at him fast and furious, of how the Chief had ignored his requests; how he had destroyed his work and had disobeyed his orders.

"Damn him!" Julian cried, throwing his drink across the room. He watched the glass shatter against the far wall, leaving behind a wet splotch and shards of glass on the floor. He closed his eyes, trying to calm his raging temper. He was breathing heavy, his fists balled in frustration.

Garak stood in the doorway, watching Julian with fascination. He had come in just in time to see the normally mild-mannered doctor heave the inoffensive glass into the wall.

"Computer, restart program, omitting characters," Julian instructed through clenched teeth. "Damn," he muttered again, turning swiftly and catching sight of Garak.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" Julian snarled, his face hot with embarrassment. "Don't you believe in announcing yourself?"

Garak's eyes widened in shock. "I was invited, doctor," he replied coldly, "or had you forgotten?"

"Of course I hadn't forgotten," Julian snapped back. He turned back to the bar, resting his fist on it's polished surface. "I just didn't hear the doors open..." his voice trailed off as he glanced the tailor warily. "And why is that? Are you making a habit of sneaking up on me?" he accused lightly, stepping toward the Cardassian.

"I did not sneak," Garak protested quietly, pulling himself up to his full height. "I merely let myself in. If you recall, it was  _you_ who wanted me to return to this," he glanced around, not bothering to hide his distaste, "program."

"If you had such a problem with it, why did you  _bother_ showing up?" Julian spat back, his eyes narrowing as he stepped toe-to-toe with the Cardassian.

"If I knew this was the reception I would receive, believe me doctor, I would  _not_ have," Garak sniffed. They were nose-to-nose, breathing heavily with their mutual anger.

"Then get out," Julian enunciated softly, his controlled, perfectly calm voice belying the rage burning in his eyes.

Garak's eyes narrowed further as he regarded the doctor. "If you noticed yesterday, doctor, I don't take orders well."

"Well, you're not the only one," Bashir snapped sarcastically. "Now, get out before I throw you out." He tossed his hand in the direction of the door for emphasis.

Cerulean eyes locked on hazel, both daring the other to make the first move. Flickers were noted, emotions gauged.

Garak couldn't remember the last time he had enjoyed a fight more. He felt the adrenaline coursing through him; felt arousal nipping at his awareness, begging to be released. He held it in check, prolonging the sweet agony. "Doctor, you wouldn't dare throw me out." He suddenly smiled, an impudent, mocking smile. "You don't have it in you."

Julian's eyes were wild with fury. "Don't tempt me, Garak..." he threatened, his chest brushing against the Cardassian's.

Garak broke into laughter. "Dear doctor, I must say, this game is quite enjoyable. I don't think I've ever..."

His sentence was cut off as Julian grasped the front of his tuxedo, pulling the tailor closer. Julian hissed in his face, "I warned you, Garak. Leave  _now_."

Garak hid his surprise carefully. "I have no intention of leaving," he replied softly, feeling himself growing hard. He was definitely enjoying himself. "I came for lunch, and I'm not leaving without it."

Julian looked deeply into Garak's eyes, noting their subtle change. "You're going to have a very long wait, Garak," he replied quietly, "because I have no intention of eating with you." Disgust twisted his features and he shoved Garak away.

True shock registered on Garak's face. "Excuse me?" he asked, sure he had heard wrong.

"You heard me. I don't want to have lunch with you. Not today; not  _ever_. Get out." Julian's normally warm voice sounded cold; unfeeling. He turned his back to the tailor.

Garak stood in stunned silence. What had happened? He thought they were having a very nice argument, one that sent parts of him tingling, and now...Julian had his back turned to Garak, his arms folded tightly against his chest. Garak thought carefully. If he guessd correctly, then Julian had read up on Cardassian mating habits, and realized that this was a lead in. Was he playing the game a little harder than a Human normally would? A slow smile crossed Garak's face, which he quickly curbed.

Garak answered confidently, "Doctor, I am not leaving. I came for lunch, but I also came to see you."

"Oh really?" Julian swiveled to stare at the Cardassian, his eyes cold. His voice was hard as he continued, "Why, so you could humiliate me again? Second-guess me? Make me look like a total fool? Well let me tell you Chief, I don't appreciate it."

"Chief?" Garak asked, perplexed. He eyed the Human, noting he was flushed an unnatural shade of red, fidgety, most definitely upset. "Why did you call me Chief?"

"I didn't," Julian snapped angrily. "And don't change the subject! I know you didn't trust my judgment, and you probably think me a fool. Well, so be it." His eyes had clouded over, lost in repressed feelings and memories. "Just get out," he ordered hoarsely.

"Doctor." Garak dropped all pretenses, truly worried now. "Doctor, if I've upset you, I'm truly sorry. It was not intentional..."

"Yes it was!" Julian cried, advancing again on the Cardassian. "You deliberately sabotaged my work, destroyed it, without a thought to me or my feelings. Dammit Chief, didn't you trust me, even a little?"

Garak was thoroughly confused by this point. Why Julian kept calling him the Chief was beyond - wait. Their trip into the Gamma Quadrant. The doctor had been unusually quiet upon their return, and he and the engineer had been on the outs for a few weeks after. Something  _had_ happened over there. And Julian hadn't trusted the tailor with it.

_And why should he_? Garak's mind hissed back.  _Look at what you've given him_.

Shaking off his own ghosts, Garak focused on the young man in front of him. "Doctor, look at me. I am not the Chief. I am Garak."

Julian's eyes slowly focused on the Cardassian in front of him. "Garak?" Some of his anger faded as he shook himself back to the present. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Garak sighed. _Not again_ , "Doctor, I've already stated that. If you truly want me to leave..."

Hesitation battled with anger in Julian's eyes, and his mouth worked, forming an answer. "You're not going to question me, are you?" he asked suspiciously.

Garak held up his hands in mock-surrender. "I gave up that lifestyle, doctor. I promise, no questions."

Eyeing the Cardassian warily, Julian shook his head. "I don't believe you," he answered hesitantly, unsure of himself.

"Very good doctor," Garak replied, dropping his arms and smoothing his tux jacket. "You should never believe me."

"I don't need this," Julian murmured, walking to the bar and pouring a double brandy. "Don't patronize me, Garak," he pleaded, downing the brandy and pouring himself another.

Garak caught the look of utter defeat on Julian's face, and felt his heart tug at the young man's anguish. Julian picked up the glass again, but put it back down before he could drink it. "I just don't know what to do," he said softly, staring down at the glass.

"About the Chief," Garak observed. Julian's eyes shot up to his, and the tailor noted the confusion warring with anger and hurt for dominance in his eyes. Garak walked over to the bar, leaning against it.

"Doctor, it seems to me as if you need someone to talk to." Garak's smile was warm and inviting. "I would be happy to offer my services."

A ghost of a smile flickered across Julian's features. "I don't know Garak. The price for your services might be too high for me."

The tailor looked at Julian in shock. Did that mean he knew Garak was flirting with him? Did that mean he wasn't sure of his feelings? Or that he knew, and was just afraid? "Doctor?" he questioned carefully, "Whatever do you mean?"

Julian's smile turned wry. "Just the loss of my own self esteem, my self-worth, and my pride. Not really a great loss when I think about it," he said softly, his gaze retracting inward.

"Doctor," Garak shook him out of his revere. "I'll not have this kind of talk here. Not in Julian Bashir, Secret Agent's home."

"Why not? Julian Bashir, Secret Agent is almost as much of a joke as Julian Bashir, Hero," Julian spat, walking away from the bar and Garak.

Garak's narrowed gaze followed the Human, watching his movements carefully. He might not be in the questioning business anymore, but his powers of observation were as sharp as ever. His quick gaze took in Julian's tense shoulders, rigid stance, and quirky movements.  _He's still angry... but not at me_. Arranging his features carefully, he called, "Julian."

The doctor swiveled in surprise. "You've never called me Julian." He took in the tailor's piercing gaze and frowning mouth, and belatedly, his gruff tone.

Garak laughed harshly. "I was never given permission."

"Permission?" Julian asked, his brow crinkling in perplexity. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, just that everyone but me has been asked if they could call you by your given name. _I_ don't deserve that honor, I suppose," Garak snapped, still watching Julian's movements carefully.

"Why - I -" Julian stuttered, completely abashed. "I didn't think you would want to..."

"You never gave me the chance, doctor," Garak interrupted quickly, sniffing indignantly. "I guess you do not count me among your friends."

"Of course I do!" Julian snapped quickly, hurt coloring his features. "You're my bloody only friend on this station, if you must know."

"Really." Garak injected as much disbelief into those two syllables as he could. "What about the Chief?"

"The Chief can go to bloody hell for all I care," Julian muttered, flushing hotly.

"What happened? Have a lover's spat?" Garak asked quietly, waiting for the doctor's reaction.  _One...two_...

"What!?" Julian hissed dangerously, his jaw hanging in shock. "Miles and I aren't..."

The Cardassian guffawed, doing a poor job of stifling his laughter. "Come now, doctor. I've seen you two coming out of the holosuites together. You're very close."

"We are close," Julian blurted out, "But not  _that_ close. He's a good friend."

"But you just said he wasn't your friend. Which is it doctor?"

Frustrated, Julian howled, "What do you  _want_ , Garak! Do you  _want_ me to tell you that Miles undercut my authority on a mission? Do you want me to tell you that he and I haven't spoken since then? Do you want me to tell you that he's my friend, but not my lover? Is that it?" He paused, catching his breath. He really looked at the Cardassian's face for the first time since he'd arrived.

"Dear God," he whispered. "That is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"What is?" Garak asked calmly, his eyes giving the only hint of emotion.

Julian walked over to the Cardassian, taking slow measured steps. "You wanted to find out if Miles and I were lovers. Why?"

"He is a married man, doctor. If Chief O'Brien were cheating on his wife..." Garak mused nonchalantly.

"He's not," the doctor cut in. His brows creased together as he tried to read Garak's expression. "Why do you care about Miles and Keiko's marriage?"

"I do so hate to see couples break up. It's so sad..."

"Garak." Julian's demeanor took on a whole other context. He slid up to Garak, bare inches from the strange, ornate body. He whispered, "Garak, why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"About what?" Garak feigned ignorance, though his breathing became erratic, his eyes nearly black as the pupils dilated, his neckridges dark with desire.

"About...this," Julian whispered, brushing his hand along the tailor's pants, just touching the hardening erection held inside.

Garak held his emotions in careful check. "Doctor..." he began, but Julian moved in closer, his lips closing in on the Cardassian's.

"Garak," Julian murmured, "I want you - have wanted you, for such a very long time."

"Then...why didn't you say so?" Garak replied quietly, his mouth moving unconsciously towards the Human's.

Their lips met, hesitantly, each pulling back to stare deeply into the others' eyes, then met again, bolder. Julian's tongue flicked out along Garak's lips, and the Cardassian started. Julian pulled back.

"Garak?" he questioned.

"It's all right, Julian," Garak murmured, breathing unsteadily. His eyes locked on the doctor's, and Julian nearly moaned from their icy blue intensity.

Julian's hands captured the tailor's head, fingers tangling in the short hair, holding him steady as he plunged his tongue inside the hot mouth; explored the sensuous lips of the Cardassian.

Garak had never experienced anything like it. To touch someone in this intimate way...he brought his hands up to Julian's tuxedo jacket, clutching it firmly as his own tongue grew bold, seeking out Julian's. His mouth sucked at the full lower lip, drawing gasps from the Human.

Julian's neck arched back; his mouth open as intense sensations coursed through his body. The Cardassian's skin was cool to the touch, which felt fiery against his own blazing skin.

"Garak," he murmured, eyes closed as another moan slipped from his desire-filled body. Julian's hands closed over the neckridges, running his thumbs along the darkened sides, his fingers sliding sensuously along the top thick ridge, drawing an answering moan from his lover.

"I'm here, Julian," Garak whispered back, nipping lightly at the slender neck offered to him, his hands pushing the tuxedo jacket from the slim shoulders. He felt his own jacket being slid from his frame, and parted slightly from Julian, allowing it to join its companion on the floor.

A feral light shone from Julian's gleaming eyes. "I want you," the doctor growled, grabbing the Cardassian by the shirt front and pulling him close, devouring his mouth.

Garak's eyes fluttered closed as Julian took control, his hands working at the rest of Garak's suit, his mouth in total possession of the Cardassian's mouth. Soon, Garak was naked, Julian partially so, both of them panting hard.

"Julian," Garak moaned, seizing the young man's trousers and quickly divesting him of them. They joined the sizable heap of clothes already piled on the floor, amid shoes, socks, shirts...

"I want you," Julian repeated, leading Garak to the bed. Julian pushed Garak gently, the tailor landed back on the bed, staring up at the Human.

"Then have me," Garak replied, the light in his eyes anything but submissive. There was a challenge in them; a daring. And one thing Julian loved was a challenge.

Losing the rest of his clothing, Julian stood naked before Garak before sliding his body along the Cardassian's, until he was nose-to-nose with Garak. "I shall," Julian breathed, planting teasing kisses along Garak's jaw, his lips, his throat, taking care to avoid all the very sensitive places.

Garak arched his back, cupping Julian's ass and thrusting his erection up into the young man's equally hard sex. "Julian..." Garak moaned, his fingers teasing at Julian's cleft.

"Ah-ah," the Human tsked, smiling coyly down at the tailor. Wriggling out of Garak's grasp, Julian resettled himself on top of the Cardassian, running his hands delicately over the ornate face. "We do this my way."

Garak inhaled sharply. He had never seen Julian so forceful - outside the Infirmary that is. The fire pulsed through his groin, through his sex, and he groaned. "Yes," he hissed, pleaded, begged...anything, as long as Julian started  _soon_.

Getting his wish, the doctor pushed Garak harder into the bed, holding his hands at his sides, grinning. "You're in for the ride of your life, Garak," he whispered, nuzzling along the flared neckridges.

"Julian, let me touch you," Garak rasped, his eyes bright with lust. He squirmed, but not too much, as he was enjoying this side of Julian. His movements shifted Julian, and the doctor's mouth moved lower, kissing down Garak's throat.

"Not just yet," Julian whispered, nipping along the Cardassian's stomach. Moaning, Garak thrust his hips, his taunt erection brushing Julian's cheek.

"Now Garak, what  _will_ I do with this?" Julian murmured, his tongue darting out and licking the shining head.

Garak moaned, a deep rumbling coursing through his chest. "Julian," he begged softly, sweat rolling down his facial ridges as Julian took his erection into his mouth.

Julian sucked gently, his tongue licking along the entire shaft, wetting it thoroughly. Smiling wickedly, Julian nipped lightly along the scaled penis, drawing more deep moans from his lover.

Garak gasped, arching his back as his hands convulsed around the sheets he gripped tightly. Julian released his hands, one sneaking between Garak's legs to tease at his balls, while his other hand stroked the thick erection. Panting hard, Julian watched Garak's face change; watched his neckridges turn almost black with desire. A trickle of sweat fell into his eye, and Julian blinked quickly, leaning down to brush his head against Garak's stomach. Mouthing the slick skin below his lips, licking at it gently, Julian tweaked Garak's sex firmly.

A deep rumble emanated from Garak's chest, his eyes flying open as he thrashed wildly. "Julian!" he cried, his breath catching. Sensing Garak's release, Julian quickly took him in his mouth, sucking hard. Hissing, Garak spilled his seed into his lover, arching his back and crying out his pleasure.

Swallowing the last of Garak's essence, Julian slid his body alongside Garak's, panting quietly next to him. "Had enough?" he breathed, his hands caressing the tailor's chest.

Garak lolled his head to the side, studying Julian with great affection. "If I lived to be 800, I could never have enough of you," he whispered, pulling the younger man on top of him, devouring his mouth.

Moaning happily, Julian thrust his tongue into the Cardassian's hot mouth, toying with his tongue as his hands tweaked at the neckridges. His still-hard erection poked Garak in the thigh, and the tailor started.

"Julian?" he murmured, his hand stealing down to the Human's sex.

"Mmm," was all Julian could utter, as he felt himself near the edge. Garak's feather-light touches weren't enough, however, and he soon found himself thrusting against Garak's hand, his arms wrapped around the Cardassian's neckridges. Gasping, he felt himself tumble over the edge, crying out his lover's name as his essence flowed between them.

Julian's sweat-drenched body collapsed onto Garak's broad chest, the tailor's broad hands stroking down his back.

"Julian," he whispered again, the word now filled with great affection.

"Yes Elim?" Julian managed, between deep gulps of air. He lifted his head, resting his chin on Garak's chest, staring into those deep, intelligent blue eyes.

"I'm sorry for saying those things to you earlier," Garak murmured, his eyes conveying more of his apology than the words.

"I think I know why you did it," Julian mused, suddenly smiling. "You wanted to find out if Miles and I were lovers."

"Well, yes, in a way, I suppose," Garak sidestepped, "but what I really wanted to know was why you were so upset."

Julian thought for a brief second, then laughed. "I was upset because the Chief didn't trust my judgment, and destroyed my work. Work that might have freed the Jem'Hadar from White. But now it's all gone," he whispered, his voice filled with sadness.

A tender finger stroked his cheek, and the doctor found himself staring again into Garak's infinite gaze. "Doctor" - Julian shuddered, as Garak injected deep affection into his tone at the common title - "I trust your judgment. If I didn't, I would not be here today. The implant," he elaborated at Julian's odd expression. "The Chief cannot see you for what you have become; a competent, caring officer, who does not bow to pressure."

"You know all that about me - how?" Julian asked, his eyes wide and uncertain.

Garak smiled, a tender smile that one might reserve for a child who doesn't recognize their own talent. "By looking into your eyes. I see the strength and courage there; the command; the competence; the desire to win. And," Garak's smile segued into a coy glance, "You certainly showed  _me_ you know how to take command."

It took two heartbeats before Julian caught on, then his smile bloomed. "Thank you Elim," he murmured, hoisting himself up along the scaled broad chest and kissing the tailor deeply, showing his thanks.

They broke apart, each lost in studying the other; the new light shining from sparkling eyes, the new, intense awareness of the other; the desire, still new, still strong.

"I have the holosuite reserved for another two hours. Do you want to stay?" Julian proposed, holding Garak's gaze steadily.

"Yes," the tailor replied without hesitation. Then he chuckled. "But only if we get to eat sometime. I came here with the intent to eat!"

A  _very_ un-Starfleet look glittered in the doctor's mahogany eyes. "Oh, you'll have plenty to eat, Elim," Julian promised, nudging the tailor's groin with his thigh.

Garak chuckled. "Food, Julian.  _Real_ food. But your delights I will save for dessert," he promised, pulling the doctor down for another kiss.

"Mmm, computer," Julian called, and the chirp caused Garak to wince. "Breakfast in bed. Something appealing to Cardassians, and my regular breakfast." Julian shifted, now seated next to the tailor as the trays appeared.

"Intriguing idea," Garak mused, sniffing appreciatively at the eggs.

"Oh, I have lots more where that came from," Julian promised, winking at his lover.

The End


End file.
